Yes, I think we've all had them, and it seems that it's becoming more mainstream where one isn't experiencing one of those days.
Waiter: "Anything to drink ma'am?"
Me: "Yes, a bottle of your finest merlot please."
Of course, I won't be driving. Or walking very well, for that matter.
For me, the distraction is television. And a glass, or five, of merlot.
Soon, it's after 9 p.m. You are relaxing for the day, watching t.v. and finally winding down and looking forward to a mind-numbing sleep when, suddenly - BAM! - your television barks at you:
"IT'S 10 O'CLOCK - TIME FOR YOUR LOCAL NEWS.
- ARSON SUSPECTED AT A NIGHTCLUB THAT KILLS FOUR
- MURDER AND MAYHEM IN SOUTH BEACH
- BODY PARTS FOUND AT A NEARBY ALLIGATOR SANCTUARY- RECENT STUDIES SAY MORE SUICIDES ARE BEING BLAMED ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS"
So much for that pre-slumber zen moment.
In my opinion, I could argue that the increase of suicides is caused merely by the introductions to the late local news, never mind that some stories just suck from you all hope and reason to continue living. I think the FDA should impose a pre-broadcast warning that the upcoming intro "may cause some people to kill themselves", or, at the very least, experience a coronary event.
Because of our location, the only local news we get is from Miami and the competition for viewership is probably so cutthroat that they need the extremely loud and obnoxious introductions so that they can be heard over the din of murder, mayhem and the gnashing of alligator teeth that may be concurrently happening in the immediate vicinity.
In Canada or Britain (and probably in other parts of the world), the news is introduced calmly, collectively and in a manner that doesn't make you feel like a startled cat or having been zapped by defibrillator, or worse, a startled cat zapped by a defibrillator.
I doubt the U.S. networks will be modifying their news formats anytime soon. For now, I'll just have to remember to change the channel before 10 p.m. rolls around. My nerves just can't take it anymore.
Oh Dear God. They found the body parts at the alligator sanctuary? I thought that was the last place they'd look. They didn't find any other evidence, did they?ReplyDelete
Ha! No worries, Mike. It's Wednesday and today exists in some kind of skewed parallel universe, so I doubt anyone will be looking for you here. So, your secret is safe with me.ReplyDelete
(Really. No one is looking. Or asking.)