I'm Starting to Love This Reporter

In my last post, I made reference to a headline from a front page article of one of our newspapers, insomuch that it appeared to be grammatically questionable.

I stand corrected.

This reporter (the same one from my last article) appears to have an underlying and very wry sense of humour.

At first glance, anyone familiar with the current political climate in the Bahamas would hardly give it a second thought.  I, on the other hand, did:

In my opinion, "bran" -  in any amount - will teach anyone a lesson.

Heh, heh.

To clarify, since the Bahamas follows the Parliamentary rules of the United Kingdom and the Prime Ministerial term of office cannot exceed five years, the government is gearing up for an election.

Yeah, it's that time.  They call it, "Silly Season" here.  Let the mud slinging begin.

Hubert Ingraham is the current Bahamian Prime Minister and leader of the FNM (Free National Movement) Party.   There is also the PLP (Progressive Liberal Party) which is the official opposition.

To further clarify, the "Bran" to which the headline refers is Branville McCartney, the leader of the the newly birthed (and, yes, the upcoming pun here is totally intended) DNA Party. (The 'pun' refers to the fact that most Bahamians are, in one way or another, related to each other.)

That so much can be read into this headline, I look forward to more.

;-)

This Just In ...

I used to live in a small hamlet north of Trenton, Ontario.  Trenton is not a very large city but it does have its own newspaper.  Like most  publications these days, you are able to find the web based version of the news and I pop in now and again to see what's happening there.

Recently I found the following article - more precisely it just one part of the Trentonian's 'Police Briefs' feature - and I wasn't exactly sure what to do with it.

Deb over at Debbie Does Drivel posts "Clippings From the Fridge", her weekly Monday blurb of odd and bizarre news.  And then there's Frank Lee MeiDere's feature on "Why We Need Editors" in his sidebar (even at my age, I still learn from Frank - he's a teacher, after all).

What surprises me more is that, if one is going to publish web-based news, the content of same should be considered but, at the least, reviewed ("edited") before it is posted.

So, instead of sending it to Deb or Frank, I decided to post it here "verbatim", as it were:

By Trentonian staff

Posted [December 6, 2010]

Unlawfully in a dwelling

A 38-year-old Quinte West man is facing a handful of charges after an incident on Whites Road.

Quinte West OPP report, in a release, officers were dispatched to a residence where a man was allegedly attempting to enter the house with intent to impersonate a male. The homeowner called 911 but the suspect was gone when officers arrived.

The suspect was later located in his vehicle on Highway 401 and arrested and charged with break and enter, three counts of assault, uttering threats and failing to comply with probation.

The man is being held for a bail hearing.

Really.  What was he thinking?

The article could qualify for either of the sites previously mentioned,  but I really hope all of the men I meet are actually males.

Broadcast Jesters

It is not often that we watch the ten o'clock news, mostly for the reason that it's the local news from Miami and generally consists of rape, murder, armed robbery, arson and so forth, and is recently inundated with political campaigning smear messages (I can hardly wait for November 3rd).  That, and I find their telecasts obnoxiously loud.

On the rare occasion we'll catch The National on CBC, the one channel where we get Canadian news and, hopefully, without the satellite hiccups so annoyingly provided by our cable company.

Two nights ago, we were watching a Canadian correspondent with a live report from Chile who was describing the recent dramatic events surrounding the rescue of the trapped miners.  He recapped the events of the mine's collapse and elaborated on the current situation at the mine where many family and friends were gathering.  To paraphrase, the reporter said, "the atmosphere here has become almost carnival like.  Rescue efforts will continue throughout the night.  The clowns are expected to arrive tomorrow." [Live report ends]

WTF??  They're going to send in the clowns??

Last night we again watched the CBC news - mostly to find out the purpose of the aforementioned grease-painted personnel and, while waiting on the follow-up news bite of the Chilean rescue efforts, another foreign correspondent was reporting on a situation of a military conflict that I believe was somewhere in Africa.  I was in the other room during the story, not really paying much attention, and the only words I heard were, "...more crisis arises in this unpopular war".  Since when is war ever "popular"??

Immediately after that story, the rescue update was aired with video coverage taped earlier in the day.  Yes, there were clowns.  And, what was not made clear the night before, they were there to entertain the family and friends of the trapped miners, not the miners themselves.

I don't mean to make light of the unfortunate use of words or phrasing by these reporters - on the contrary, their missteps brought a bit of levity into stories that are otherwise sad and dire, but without detracting from the serious nature of those situations.  Shit happens.  And, apparently, so do clowns.

 Thank you.  I'll be here all week.

Foot-In-Mouth Disease (Update)

Just an update on the continuing saga of our power situation.  You can read Foot-In-Mouth Disease and Foot-In-Mouth Disease (Size 22) for the history of this debacle.

This past Monday we received our April-May electricity bill.  It was $807.24 (BSD or USD - the currency trades at par here), which equates to about $1,500.00 Canadian.  The fuel charge part of this bill (which includes the additional surcharge referred to in the earlier post), was more than half of the total billing.

$807.24??  Granted, the charges were estimated, but definitely not based on the history of our consumption.  The estimated reading date was May 11.  We received the bill on May 17.

My mother was totally irate.  Like the dutiful daughter I am, I go and read the meter.  This being 6 days later, it showed a reading that was about 1000 kilowatt hours less than the estimated one.  Now, to figure out what the overcharge would be, one would need a math genius, a supercomputer and an algorithm even Einstein probably couldn't decipher.  Nah, I'm just to lazy to do the math, but the bills are insanely structured.

Moms went even further and called a reporter at the local newspaper, The Freeport News who was very interested in our story.  She listened to our concerns and complaints.  After collecting copy of the bill and photos of the meter a short article appeared in Wednesday's paper.  It wasn't the headliner, but it did appear on the front page.

Upon complaining to the power company, it admitted it did not estimate the bill based on our usage history and adjusted the bill to reflect the reading of May 17.  The new total:  $359.24.

I can't wait to see next month's bill.

It's Like Cymbals Being Crashed Together Behind Your Head

Have you ever had one of those days when you are totally spent, mentally and/or physically, and look forward to just relaxing for the evening by reading a book, watching t.v., or some other distraction that allows you to dispense with the day's trials and tribulations?

Yes, I think we've all had them, and it seems that it's becoming more mainstream where one isn't experiencing one of those days.

Waiter:  "Anything to drink ma'am?"
Me:  "Yes, a bottle of your finest merlot please."

Of course, I won't be driving.  Or walking very well, for that matter.

For me, the distraction is television.  And a glass, or five, of merlot.

Soon, it's after 9 p.m.  You are relaxing for the day, watching t.v. and finally winding down and looking forward to a mind-numbing sleep when, suddenly - BAM! - your television barks at you:

"IT'S 10 O'CLOCK - TIME FOR YOUR LOCAL NEWS.

 TONIGHT:

-  ARSON SUSPECTED AT A NIGHTCLUB THAT KILLS FOUR

-  MURDER AND MAYHEM IN SOUTH BEACH

-  BODY PARTS FOUND AT A NEARBY ALLIGATOR SANCTUARY

-  RECENT STUDIES SAY MORE SUICIDES ARE BEING BLAMED ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS"

So much for that pre-slumber zen moment.

In my opinion, I could argue that the increase of suicides is caused merely by the introductions to the late local news, never mind that some stories just suck from you all hope and reason to continue living.   I think the FDA should impose a pre-broadcast warning that the upcoming intro "may cause some people to kill themselves", or, at the very least, experience a coronary event.

Because of our location, the only local news we get is from Miami and the competition for viewership is probably so cutthroat that they need the extremely loud and obnoxious introductions so that they can be  heard over the din of murder, mayhem and the gnashing of alligator teeth that may be concurrently happening in the immediate vicinity.

In Canada or Britain (and probably in other parts of the world),  the news is introduced calmly, collectively and in a manner that doesn't make you feel like a startled cat or having been zapped by defibrillator, or worse, a startled cat zapped by a defibrillator.

I doubt the U.S. networks will be modifying their news formats anytime soon.  For now, I'll just have to remember to change the channel before 10 p.m. rolls around.  My nerves just can't take it anymore.