*Snort*

With what little eyesight I have left, I've been neglecting my reading list mostly because I've been misreading things.  When one reads, "Wore" as "Whore", one should avoid reading fine print - or any print for that matter.  And I won't go into my recent Wheel of Fortune incident.

My new eyeballs (glasses) are supposed to "reach" this week.

Reach (as a Bahamian verb):  whenever it/they/whatever arrives at a destination; emphasis on whenever.

At any rate, during my blog skimming I discovered that two blogging awards were recently bestowed upon me by that crazy Arizonan zombie wombat we all know and love as  Quirkyloon.  Imagine my surprise when I saw these:

So, in keeping with true Quirky fashion:

*snort*

 "Stylish"?  Moi? Just be glad that this isn't a video blog.  I didn't know what "matching" meant in fashion jargon until 10th grade but I try to adhere to that rule when I now go out in public.  Alright, I know that that's not what is meant by this 'Stylish' award.  Notwithstanding, I'm still verklempt!

*vapours hand-fan*

"Versatile"?  Granted that I don't really have a 'theme' to my blog and I write about dis, dat, and de udder tingum so, in that respect, I guess I am versatile!

*sheepish grin*

Alas, with greatness comes responsibilities.  Whether it be a Pulitzer Prize or a Blogging Award, obligations are attached, implied or not.  In this case, the cling-ons are:

1. Thank and link back to the person giving you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 10-15 blogs you think deserve this award.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.

When I was given my first blog award there were "rules" attached, and when I received it I was quite the 'newbie': my task was to award 7+ bloggers and state why I thought they deserved the honour. Gah! I barely knew a handful of people at best and, likewise, they barely knew me. Little did I know then that it wasn't completely taboo to break the rules. And, like Quirks, I'm not all about rules.

Let's just call them guidelines, shall we?

1. I thank ye, O Quirkyloon, and graciously accept the honours ye have bestowed upon me.  (Um, no biggie but you forgot to drop me a nugget note about the awards.  I'll assume it was due to a DDP withdrawal - that or Blogger was still experiencing its own Twilight Zone).  You like me!  You really like me!!
2. Seven things about meself ... well, I've probably already shared more than that and more than you care to know throughout my posts.  Fine.  I'll give you one of which you may not be aware:  I am NOT a cat.   I am, however, a bit of a 'dozo':  I get confused; then again, I am so easily confused.
3. Pass the awards to 10-15 bloggers:  

THE LIST:

Heh, heh.

I could surely name at least ten - probably more - blogs that deserve these awards but I think I'll just stick with the few bloggers I think will have fun with them.  Hopefully I will not overlap any other honourees that may be named by my co-recipients but, you know, shit happens.  So, in no particular order:

• Sandra at Absolutely Narcissism.  She's a beautiful and very funny lady who should try stand-up comedy (or at least write some), and gets up all in your face with her 'naughty bits'.  Really (I mean with the 'naughty bits').
• Nicky, Mike (and occasionally, Jepeto) at We Work For Cheese.  They are wonderfully cheesy people and are responsible for unleashing upon the blissfully ignorant the cacophony of caustic concoctions known as poutine (not to be confused with 'poontang').
• Cheeseboy (Abe) at The Blog O' Cheese.  When he's not role playing as kitchen appliances (his most recent post), you might spot him at the local Chinese take-out dressed as Barney the Dinosaur, waxing his arm hair or doing some other crazy stuff like that.  Hey, he works with kids - young kids - the kind of kids that drive you bonkers - all day long.  Yeah, he's entitled.
• Meleah at Momma Mia, Mea Culpa.  She hails from Jersey, complete with the attitude (she loves the badger), is so versatile that she surfs the 'net while sitting on the john, but above all, she has a heart of gold.

I hope you visit these sites -  they are worth a look-see.  Hey, you might even learn something about your private parts, cheese, kids and/or badgers!

Once this is published, I will be off to complete the last of my obligations.  Speaking of obligations, I'm then off to go pick up some beer booze butter.  Oh, and the newspapers.

;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Eyeball" update:  They are now to arrive sometime early next week.  Yeah, right.  I won't be holding my breath.

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It's Gonna Be A Slow Weekend

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American friends!  I figured I would post this today seeing that yesterday you were all too busy stuffing your face with turkey, five-bean casserole, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, and, well, stuffing, and probably didn't have time to visit many blogs - that, and I was just to lazy (or late) to post anything at all.

So, as a respite for your bloated, hungover and over footballed selves, I offer the following diversion:

I won!!!

Yes, the intrepid Sir Punsalot  has graciously awarded me his weekly prize for his Pause, Ponder and Pun feature.  I am proud and honoured.  So, when you become tired of washing dishes, eating leftovers, watching football, strangling arguing with the family and/or have nothing better to do this weekend, please visit this week's  PPP offering.  Even if you don't submit a caption, the comments are hilarious every week - so is his site.

Although my Thanksgiving was in October, I am, again, thankful this week!

Me? Lie? Never!

Hmmmm...I don't really recall if I've ever made such a "creative" statement in my blog as yet.  But there is hope.

Heh heh.

Nonamedufus at nonamedufus (yeah I know, kinda redundant) gave me this award.   I know he lies, but I do congratulate him on his award as he is truly creative in both senses of the word - that and, dozo me, forgot to congratulate him earlier.  And, once again, thank you dufus, I bow in reverence to thee.

I don't mind (yet) getting awards, but I'm running out of people to tag or re-gift. Ack! Keep in mind people, I'm still a rookie here!  And I follow some of my followers' follow lists who have been so followed and rewarded by dufus.  Yep, I totally confused myself with that last statement, but then I am so easily confused.

As with many of these awards, they come with rules or obligations which are:
- thank the person who gave you the award
- copy the logo and place it on your blog
- link to the person who nominated you
- tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself and at least one outrageous truth, or vice-versa
- nominate seven "creative" writers
- post links to the blogs you nominate
- leave a comment on each blog letting them know they've won the award

To tell the truth, or to lie like a rug:

1.  I once handcuffed myself with a dog choke chain (with my hands behind my back) and my grandfather had to come over and rescue me.
2. I haven't been to a hairdresser in over 7 years.
3. I miss Canadian winters.
4. I got caught riding a moped without a licence - three times - and was hauled down to the cop shop every time.
5. I can play the piano.
6. I am an alien.
7. I'm 5'7" tall.

Gee, lying was was easier than I thought.  Heh heh.

Now the hard part, again:

1. "BonyMike" at  Too Many Mornings because he complained somewhere that he doesn't get enough 'bling', and because he's a very creative bullshit artist and is otherwise extremely talented.
2. Linda at The Good, The Bad, The Worse because she's otherwise creative and she, including her family, just crack me up.
3. Ziva at Ziva's Inferno - well, just because I can -  and I'm starting to believe she is an evil penguin.  Seriously, she's quite talented and funny.
4. Baino at  Baino's Banter, who I've just recently discovered.  She's an Aussie with strange words like "fuckwit", among others that I don't understand yet, and she's creative in many ways.
5. Janna at Jannaverse - a woman of very few words but speaks volumes.
6. VE at VE's Fantastical Universe who I also think is very "creative" in both aspects of the word, and he's good for some shits and giggles.  A total nutbar - but in a good way ;-)
7. And, finally, Jepeto, another blogger I also just recently discovered, is a guest blogger at We Work For Cheese who has done the very first(?) Morse code post ever, and is quite funny.  His name, albeit spelled differently than "Geppetto", had no influence whatsoever on his nomination  (I'm really gettin' good at this lying stuff, eh?  ;-).  But kudos to him for keeping up a now obsolete form of long-distance communication.  Really, what happens if all the computers and cell phones suddenly crash??  Any bookkeepers out there that remember the manual form of the one-write system?? Oy.

Well kids, have fun with this.  I did!

;-)

But, Why Me?? I'm Just a Lowly Rookie!

I really have no idea.  From what I understand:

“The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blogging world.”

Me?  L'il ol' me??  I'd hardly think so, but just the same, Ziva at Ziva's Inferno gave me this award.  What she said of me: "...(00dozo) who I haven’t been reading very long at all, but who actually believes me when I say evil penguins could eat her pavement". So, basically, she gave it to me out of pity AND thinks I'm delusional.  I'm so verklempt!  (I'd put in linky-tingums here to the post(s) containing the penguin bits, but my bloggy skills are in need of much honing.)

Now, the Rules that accompany this Award are:

1. Post the award on your blog.  This took some doing, but I finally got it up there.
2. Pass the award on to twelve bloggers. I barely know 5 bloggers that well, but 12???  I'll fudge it.
3. Link to the nominees in your post.  I'm pretty good at that, I think.
4. Let the other bloggers know they’ve received this award by commenting on their blog.  Piece of cake.  (Tried to get me with the kids, dirty diapers and fish, eh Ziva? I'm not that delusional.)
5. Link to the person you received this award from. Done.

Now the hard part:  The Nominees.  I'd like to say in advance,  SORRY! (I am sooo Canadian), but I'm going to have to give this award to some of those persons named in Ziva's post merely because I really don't know that many bloggers yet and, if I get this out quick enough, they can combine their obligations in one swell foop.  So, here it goes:

1.  To  Frank Lee MeiDere because he:  won't give a damn; probably doesn't like me very much (he posts things that I have to look-up); makes me laugh and inspires me to write better, and I think he's a "bright and shiny" person (okay, "dark and twisty" - happy, Frank?).

2.  To  BonyMike  (a.k.a MikeWJ) because he, too, inspires me to be a better writer, can be exceptionally long winded, just cracks me up most of the time, and because he likes the nickname I gave him  ;-).

3.  To nonamedufus for welcoming me to Blogger in my very first post, and because he recently returned with his funny bone (with its marrow) intact.  Stay well, dufus!

The aforementioned three were, in no preferential order, the first bloggers to leave comments on my site and the first to follow me.  I bow in reverence to thee.

Alright, enough of the gushy talk ... on with it. Again, in no preferential order:

4.  To Nicky and CheesyMike for being funny, witty and very cheesy in so many ways, and because they couldn't include MORE people for the award when it was recently given to them.  So, here's your chance, guys.  And also because Mike doesn't mind the nickname I gave him.

5.  To Ziva, of course, because she is a very good and clever writer, not to mention evil and twisted in her own charming way, and will probably want to assassinate me for re-gifting her.
6.  To Jingle, as an apology for snarking at her in one of my comments (Jingle:  I'm sure you are as nice and as forgiving as you appear to be, so I do believe you deserve this Award), and because I suffer from Canadian guilt.
7  through 12:     CatLadyLarew,  Willow, Leeuna, Everyday Goddess,  "Reffie", and Knucklehead!, all of whose sites I very much enjoy reading because they're witty, very well written, serious, hilarious and/or just nutty and who I will be visiting more often once my new laptop reach (my present one is suffering from virtual Alzheimer's and is ready to blow a chip).

So, there you have it.    Have a (whatever it is you're having) Day.