Bah, Humbuggery!

'Tis the season...

...to be annoyed.

Again.

Besides the other annoyances at this time of year that really - and I mean REALLY - screw up our business schedule, we have to endure annoying television commercial loops (i.e. certain ads that endlessly repeat themselves during commercial breaks).

Last year it was Dr. Dre pitching the latest in music technology for personal computers that featured him in this getup:

I sort of understand the necessity of the Kevlar-type vest to protect his innards from melting due the excessive amount bass emitting from the sub-woofers on the wall, but really...a nut-cup? On his face?  What, if anything, does that have to do with music?

Speaking of music, I am utterly annoyed at the increasing bastardization of Christmas songs in commercial advertisements.   Mind you, this year there is one that makes me chuckle.  I'm sure you've all heard it and I'm certainly not the first to point it out, but when you have a rather attractive brunette dancing around in a pink dress with numerous elves - of both genders - with pink hair and all you hear is, "...walking in an 'orgy' wonderland", it kinda of makes you think about what is actually being promoted, no?

I don't judge.  I just wonder.

Happy Holidays everyone!
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;-)

No, I'm Not Dead...Yet

And, thank you! to those who checked up on me.

Yeah, yeah.  I know I've been absent - not to mention absent minded - but I do have a few articles in the works, one of which deals with yet another appliance repair.  It will be a long one.  I promise.

Heh, heh.

In the meantime, guess who is back in town?  Murphy.

Oy.

Before he even landed things went awry:  On the way to his apartment, I stopped to get some groceries he would need for the evening, expecting to take him shopping on Tuesday.  While at the checkout, the woman before me purchases some items that were marked down except the scanner would not accept the discounted price even after several attempts by the cashier to correct the problem.  As this was taking too long, I waved off the customers gathering behind me to go to another checkout.

The problem with the scanner is finally solved.  Great, I thought since I was already running late and I only had a few items, I'd be out of there in no time.

I am so naive.

Apparently, the discounted price of the items was still wrong.  As the customer and cashier were haggling out the correct price, I am rolling my eyes at the people behind me and respectfully wave them off to another checkout.

The haggling continued for another five or so minutes.  At this point, I decided to heed my own advice and go to another checkout.  By the time I repacked my basket, the problem was sorted it out and I was next in line.  I proceeded to unpack my basket for the second time.  No worries, I thought to myself since I only had a few items and nothing that was marked down.  I should be out of there in no time.

Yeah, right.

It must be the mere fact that Murphy's impending arrival causes bad luck.  I had gone to the deli counter and got some sliced meat and salmon fillets, both of which were tagged with a bar code label by the deli department.

Not only did the the label for the ham get rejected by the scanner, but the label for the salmon fillets was also rejected.  After several attempts at the bar code for the ham, the cashier looks at me and says, "I'm sorry, this product is not in our computer", to which I responded with a look that said, "And how is this my problem?"

After another bout of haggling, this time between the cashier, some know-nothing price manager and - oh my gods - the 'override' button on the keyboard, I was in and out of that store in a half an hour:  10 minutes for gathering my goods; 20 minutes at the checkout, excluding the time for customer before me.

So, I get to the apartment, turn on the water, hot water tank, open a window, etc.  I rush back to my house for feeding time at the "zoo" which leaves me about 20 minutes to relax before I pick Murphy up at the airport.

Honestly, I thought his flight would have been delayed, diverted or - god forbid - downed, but it wasn't.  In fact, it was early!

Go figure.

So, after all of the grief and delays I went through Monday, it got me thinking that maybe it really isn't Murphy. It might be me after all.

Again, I am so naive.

About two hours after I drop Murphy off at his place, he calls to say that the toilet tank is leaking.

Profusely.

He's here until December 24th.


;-)

I'm Starting to Love This Reporter

In my last post, I made reference to a headline from a front page article of one of our newspapers, insomuch that it appeared to be grammatically questionable.

I stand corrected.

This reporter (the same one from my last article) appears to have an underlying and very wry sense of humour.

At first glance, anyone familiar with the current political climate in the Bahamas would hardly give it a second thought.  I, on the other hand, did:

In my opinion, "bran" -  in any amount - will teach anyone a lesson.

Heh, heh.

To clarify, since the Bahamas follows the Parliamentary rules of the United Kingdom and the Prime Ministerial term of office cannot exceed five years, the government is gearing up for an election.

Yeah, it's that time.  They call it, "Silly Season" here.  Let the mud slinging begin.

Hubert Ingraham is the current Bahamian Prime Minister and leader of the FNM (Free National Movement) Party.   There is also the PLP (Progressive Liberal Party) which is the official opposition.

To further clarify, the "Bran" to which the headline refers is Branville McCartney, the leader of the the newly birthed (and, yes, the upcoming pun here is totally intended) DNA Party. (The 'pun' refers to the fact that most Bahamians are, in one way or another, related to each other.)

That so much can be read into this headline, I look forward to more.

;-)

It's No Wonder I Can't Write Comprehensively...

... when I read shit like this in our newspapers:

Evidently, there were four victims.  A couple aren't quite dead yet.

"Maria ... I Just Met a Cheese Named Maria"

Okay, so I don’t know if there is a cheese named “Maria” but I do know there is a storm named Maria which could be a potential threat to the Bahamas.   So far the forecast is leaning in our favour – she should be a gutter ball - but I can’t get that song out of my mind. 

Really.

Every time I visit the storm site, there she is and damn it if that song doesn’t pop into my head.

If you think about it, Maria is kind of a cheesy song anyway.

Speaking of cheese …

I’ve neglected my monthly Cheese Calendar reviews* and in order to get my mind off Maria - the storm, not to mention the song - I now update you with my late reviews of the July and August recipes for the calendar.

*(If you are new to my blog and have no idea what I'm talking about, click here to get a general understanding of the Cheese Calendar, or just click on the 'cheese calendar' label below.)

Kiwi Mascarpone  (July)

Ingredients:

• 6 kiwis (the fruit kind – not actual New Zealanders, unless your into that sort of thing)
• 1/3 cup orange juice
• ¼ cup mascarpone cheese
• 1 tsp honey
• ¼ tsp cinnamon

 Directions:

• Peel and slice the kiwis into rounds.  Sprinkle orange juice over fruit and set aside.
• In a small bowl, mix mascarpone, honey and cinnamon until well blended.
• Layer kiwis and mascarpone into ramekins 3 times, ending with kiwis.  Sprinkle tops with a pinch of cinnamon.

Oh, yum!  This would make a great dessert for any meal.  It’s not very heavy on the “cheese” taste but the mascarpone, with the honey and the cinnamon, compliments the kiwis very nicely.  It would also be an appropriate dessert for the following recipe.

Note:  If you are going to use the other Kiwis (real New Zealanders), just make they have been washed and are clean shaven, substitute the orange juice with a hot tub full of Orange Jello, whipped cream for the mascarpone and ... oh, never mind.

Goat Cheese Quesadillas  (August)

Ingredients:

• 2 tblsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
• ½ pound fresh asparagus, cut into 1 ½ inch pieces
• Two 10-inch flour tortillas (I used three 8-inch tortillas)
• 4 oz herbed goat cheese (or slightly more if you use the 8-inch wraps)
• ½ cup cooked ham, cubed (I used Black Forest ham, cut into quarter-inch cubes)

Directions:

• In a skillet, heat 1 tblsp of olive oil over medium-low heat.  Add the asparagus, stirring occasionally until tender and lightly browned.**  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Set aside.
• Spread one side of each torilla with ½ of the goat cheese.  Spread ½ the asparagus and ½ of the cooked ham cubes evenly on each tortilla.  Fold tortilla in half over contents.  Brush the outsides of the quesadillas with remaining oil.
• Over medium-high heat, cook the quesadillas about 2 to 3 minutes per side.  Cut in half and serve.

**Note:  I sometimes cannot get very fresh asparagus (as it was in this case), so I lowered the heat a bit, added a tablespoon of water and covered the skillet with a lid to steam the asparagus to prevent them from drying out.

Yum, again!  This is a simple, easy peasy recipe if you don’t want to do a lot of cooking, especially in the summertime.  The ingredients are simple (and I did adhere to the recipe), but one can always add other stuffings or seasonings to taste.  I also liked the bit of crunch that came from toasting the wraps in the skillet.

Well, that wraps up these recipes.  September's recipe is apple Camembert stuffed crepes.

Are They Sirius?

I don't know about you, but one would think that a "meteorologist" deals with things like, say, planets, stars and - god forbid - actual meteors.  Apparently not.   "Meteorologist" is the official job description of one who predicts or forecasts the weather.  Predilection is, as a science, iffy at best.  Hell, most people already pooh-pooh psychics, yet the "meteorologist" moniker given to - gasp! - weathermen is to be revered:   we are supposed to trust these people when it comes to the weather.

If you ask me, it's the name given to those idiots who go out and report on a hurricane in the bloody middle of it.  I'll have to say, though, that those meteorologists on the beaches of the eastern U.S. seaboard kept me quite entertained during Hurricane Irene.

Speaking of being entertained, I can't imagine that the job is otherwise very interesting.  Boring, actually.  So it doesn't surprise me that those guys at the hurricane centre might hope to have something upon which to report for six months of the year.  (One has to wonder what they do for the other six months.)  And, if it's a 'slow' year, how do they spend their time?

They probably sit around thinking of "headlines" like this:

Evidently, a bored meteorologist has been channeling Howard Cosell.

I'm waiting for the third round update.

;-)

Goodnight, Irene.

I wish.

As some of you may or may not know, I presently live in the "Hurricane Alley" of the Caribbean and the 5-10 split is extremely wide in my neck of the woods at this time of year so, yeah, it's technically a crap shoot.

Most bowlers aim just right or left the Number 1 pin for a strike.  Currently, our island is just left of that desired 'sweet spot' for Hurricane Irene.

There have been several tropical waves forming off of the east coast of Africa that are potential tropical storms since the onset of the hurricane season but, thankfully, most have been gutter balls.

I have found that if I talk about upcoming storms in my blog, they generally peter out or divert their respective routes to non life threatening areas.  Hence, this post (and crossing fingers, toes, eyes. etc).

Just to give you a perspective, as of about 5 p.m. EDT today:

And if that wasn't bad enough ...

My mom just called me the "Hippy Dippy Weatherman".  Really, she did, mostly because I've been obsessed in monitoring the hurricane updates all day.  This is how it is in our household.  It can be satirically comical at times yet we cannot control many things, let alone 'Mother Nature'.  I just hope we're still laughing come Friday.

I think we will be.  What else can one do?

I might be "off the grid" for the next few days (week?).

In the meantime, tonight's forecast:  dark.


;-)

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