No, I'm Not Dead...Yet

And, thank you! to those who checked up on me.

Yeah, yeah.  I know I've been absent - not to mention absent minded - but I do have a few articles in the works, one of which deals with yet another appliance repair.  It will be a long one.  I promise.

Heh, heh.

In the meantime, guess who is back in town?  Murphy.

Oy.

Before he even landed things went awry:  On the way to his apartment, I stopped to get some groceries he would need for the evening, expecting to take him shopping on Tuesday.  While at the checkout, the woman before me purchases some items that were marked down except the scanner would not accept the discounted price even after several attempts by the cashier to correct the problem.  As this was taking too long, I waved off the customers gathering behind me to go to another checkout.

The problem with the scanner is finally solved.  Great, I thought since I was already running late and I only had a few items, I'd be out of there in no time.

I am so naive.

Apparently, the discounted price of the items was still wrong.  As the customer and cashier were haggling out the correct price, I am rolling my eyes at the people behind me and respectfully wave them off to another checkout.

The haggling continued for another five or so minutes.  At this point, I decided to heed my own advice and go to another checkout.  By the time I repacked my basket, the problem was sorted it out and I was next in line.  I proceeded to unpack my basket for the second time.  No worries, I thought to myself since I only had a few items and nothing that was marked down.  I should be out of there in no time.

Yeah, right.

It must be the mere fact that Murphy's impending arrival causes bad luck.  I had gone to the deli counter and got some sliced meat and salmon fillets, both of which were tagged with a bar code label by the deli department.

Not only did the the label for the ham get rejected by the scanner, but the label for the salmon fillets was also rejected.  After several attempts at the bar code for the ham, the cashier looks at me and says, "I'm sorry, this product is not in our computer", to which I responded with a look that said, "And how is this my problem?"

After another bout of haggling, this time between the cashier, some know-nothing price manager and - oh my gods - the 'override' button on the keyboard, I was in and out of that store in a half an hour:  10 minutes for gathering my goods; 20 minutes at the checkout, excluding the time for customer before me.

So, I get to the apartment, turn on the water, hot water tank, open a window, etc.  I rush back to my house for feeding time at the "zoo" which leaves me about 20 minutes to relax before I pick Murphy up at the airport.

Honestly, I thought his flight would have been delayed, diverted or - god forbid - downed, but it wasn't.  In fact, it was early!

Go figure.

So, after all of the grief and delays I went through Monday, it got me thinking that maybe it really isn't Murphy. It might be me after all.

Again, I am so naive.

About two hours after I drop Murphy off at his place, he calls to say that the toilet tank is leaking.

Profusely.

He's here until December 24th.


;-)

Oh Auntie Em!

'Tis the season.  Hurricane season, that is.  Whilst Tropical Storm Emily is making up her mind upon whom she will render her wrath (she's been rather indecisive for two days - hey, it a woman thing), we have been inundated with other problems that need to be tended to in order to make Emily's stay with us as comfortable as it can be.  Our comfort, that is.

On Monday, we discovered that the main waterline to our house has sprung yet another leak.  Fun.  Wow.  *starts humming the song to an advertisement for a theme park somewhere in western NY State*  (Okay, so you'd have to had grown up in Buffalo, Western New York or Toronto and watched Buffalo television feeds to understand that one.  Annoying sums it up quite well.)

At any rate ...

About two weeks ago, I finally decided to check our diesel generator because the impending doom of the hurricane season does not appear to be in our favour this year.  Well, "Vin" here turned over and merely farted.  Typical.  So we called the best diesel engine tech on the island to tune-up our generator - or at least find out if we needed any parts, etc. - so that we could buy supplies should they be needed. He (the tech) was scheduled - did I tell you that Bahamians don't know the definition of "schedule"? - to do a work-up on Vin early last week.  Guess what?  (Yes, it is a rhetorical question.)

Back to the water main:  Monday was a holiday here so we were "SOL"*** on getting any repairs done on that day.  Yesterday (Tuesday), we were able to secure a contractor with a backhoe to dig a new trench which was scheduled for today.  Our reasoning for the new trench being that the existing pipe would continue to fail - it would be easier to replace the whole line rather than try to fix the current leak.  The contractor was to arrive sometime this morning to start digging.  Yeah.  Right.  Have you read the subtitle of this blog?  (Yes, also a rhetorical question.)

Enter the plumber:  We contacted the best known plumber on the island (we milk that "who you know" thing quite well, it's just the "small world" thing that can bite you in the ass sometimes) who couldn't arrive last night but did, in fact, get here early this morning.  Wonders never cease.   "Joe", the plumber (and I only call him that because Palin hasn't fallen on her sword in a few weeks - that, and I have no other lame-ass joke to insert here), wanted to do the entire job in one day so that we would not be without water.

Frankly, "Joe" is an angel.  He was absolutely prepared to do the entire job in one day.

Water supplies are ordered and delivered (about 10 a.m.).  Generator's tech is delayed but, "will reach within the hour" (that was about 10 a.m.).  Contractor for the new trench: "We have to repair a tire on the flatbed transport" (that was about 12 p.m.).  It's been overcast all day.  The forecast is indicating isolated thunderstorms which, in turn, brings isolated torrential rains.  We get a mere drizzle in our area, elsewhere it is raining buckets (normal for here but no one wants to venture out in it.  God forbid it should ever snow).

The generator tech finally arrives at about 1:30 p.m.  "Vin's" dipstick is given a clean bill of health and - other than the fuel supply - he is all good to go.

Now, the backhoe contractor and Joe the plumber were to have spoken with each other to co-ordinate the digging of the trench with the installation of the new water line in order that it happened all at once.  Apparently they know one another (considering the size of this rock, this does not surprise me).  And I have to hang around the house all day to control the dogs.  However, neither showed up, mostly due to the contractor.  The third or fourth call (I lost count) to the contractor said they couldn't come out because the torrential rains had flooded their yard so bad that they couldn't get the vehicle(s) out.  When asked about the 'flat tire' problem - the original excuse for the delay - the response was, "What flat tire?".

So, basically, I've been sitting on my ass all day waiting for people to "reach".

Tonight's forecast:  dark, with isolated torrential rains.

Thursday's forecast:  lighter, with isolated torrential rains.

Friday's forecast ... take a guess.

Emily arrives at 2 a.m. Saturday morning.

Fun.  Wow.



***SOL = shit outta luck

*

*

Punny Stuff

Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but this week ...

... an honour bestowed upon the winner of a weekly caption contest hosted by nonamedufus, given  for my entry for last week's Pause, Ponder and Pun pic.   A new photo appears every Wednesday - that's tomorrow people!  Be there or be square.

But, hey, if captions aren't your thing, comments are always welcome and you just might be the recipient of the Golden Clothespin award:

Collect enough of these and you'll be hangin' with nonamedufus, too!

*********************************

On another note, I was glancing through the classifieds the other day and came upon this:

Well, I do own a plunger.  Does that count?

*

*

*



Anybody Got a Bucket??

Plumbing:  The bane of my existence for the last couple of years.

Having seen the recent   Magpie prompts, all I could think of lately is all of the plumbing problems currently plaguing this old house.  To that end, I was prepared to post a diatribe on the subject, but no one really wants to hear about that.

Suffice it to say we are down to one working sink - the kitchen sink - which only had a leaky drain pipe - was temporarily and easily fixed with duct tape (thank you, Red Green).  The fixture, however, has now failed and needs replacement.  I've got the parts for both the drain and the tap, but not the gumption.

Damn, I'm so good at my "profession".

Of course, the irony here is that our business involves water which, in turn, involves some plumbing.

To add insult to injury, it's almost been a year since I did my four-day stint in the hospital for an internal plumbing problem.  Lately - well, for the last couple of weeks anyway - I'm suspecting my bowels are planning a surprise anniversary 'blast'.  I've been hearing rumours and rumblings, so I'm not prepared to be smacking my forehead on the underside of the sink in a mad dash attempt to reach the "facility" while I'm installing a faucet.

Besides the leaky plumbing, my skin has also sprung a leak.  Well, sort of.  It's been so hot and humid that I break into a sweat merely by walking to the fax machine just twenty feet from where I sit.  It is so sticky here that you could use me as a  Post-it note bulletin board.

Now our dishwasher has decided to go on strike.  The lights come on, "but there's nobody home" which means, of course, I have to hand wash all the dishes in the sink with the leaky drain and the faucet that leaks into the bucket under said sink.

Normally I wouldn't complain about getting 'sweaty' while I do all these repairs as we have a pool and I could always go for a dip to cool off.  But, noooooooo ... karma has shit on that too.  The pool sprung a leak some time ago and it has been empty ever since.  Well, it's not so much empty since recent torrential rains (we really don't get much of any other kind here) has thwarted our attempt to locate the leak.

Oy.

So, I'm off to find ... my rubber boots.  And a bucket.