No, I'm Not Dead...Yet

And, thank you! to those who checked up on me.

Yeah, yeah.  I know I've been absent - not to mention absent minded - but I do have a few articles in the works, one of which deals with yet another appliance repair.  It will be a long one.  I promise.

Heh, heh.

In the meantime, guess who is back in town?  Murphy.

Oy.

Before he even landed things went awry:  On the way to his apartment, I stopped to get some groceries he would need for the evening, expecting to take him shopping on Tuesday.  While at the checkout, the woman before me purchases some items that were marked down except the scanner would not accept the discounted price even after several attempts by the cashier to correct the problem.  As this was taking too long, I waved off the customers gathering behind me to go to another checkout.

The problem with the scanner is finally solved.  Great, I thought since I was already running late and I only had a few items, I'd be out of there in no time.

I am so naive.

Apparently, the discounted price of the items was still wrong.  As the customer and cashier were haggling out the correct price, I am rolling my eyes at the people behind me and respectfully wave them off to another checkout.

The haggling continued for another five or so minutes.  At this point, I decided to heed my own advice and go to another checkout.  By the time I repacked my basket, the problem was sorted it out and I was next in line.  I proceeded to unpack my basket for the second time.  No worries, I thought to myself since I only had a few items and nothing that was marked down.  I should be out of there in no time.

Yeah, right.

It must be the mere fact that Murphy's impending arrival causes bad luck.  I had gone to the deli counter and got some sliced meat and salmon fillets, both of which were tagged with a bar code label by the deli department.

Not only did the the label for the ham get rejected by the scanner, but the label for the salmon fillets was also rejected.  After several attempts at the bar code for the ham, the cashier looks at me and says, "I'm sorry, this product is not in our computer", to which I responded with a look that said, "And how is this my problem?"

After another bout of haggling, this time between the cashier, some know-nothing price manager and - oh my gods - the 'override' button on the keyboard, I was in and out of that store in a half an hour:  10 minutes for gathering my goods; 20 minutes at the checkout, excluding the time for customer before me.

So, I get to the apartment, turn on the water, hot water tank, open a window, etc.  I rush back to my house for feeding time at the "zoo" which leaves me about 20 minutes to relax before I pick Murphy up at the airport.

Honestly, I thought his flight would have been delayed, diverted or - god forbid - downed, but it wasn't.  In fact, it was early!

Go figure.

So, after all of the grief and delays I went through Monday, it got me thinking that maybe it really isn't Murphy. It might be me after all.

Again, I am so naive.

About two hours after I drop Murphy off at his place, he calls to say that the toilet tank is leaking.

Profusely.

He's here until December 24th.


;-)

I'm Starting to Love This Reporter

In my last post, I made reference to a headline from a front page article of one of our newspapers, insomuch that it appeared to be grammatically questionable.

I stand corrected.

This reporter (the same one from my last article) appears to have an underlying and very wry sense of humour.

At first glance, anyone familiar with the current political climate in the Bahamas would hardly give it a second thought.  I, on the other hand, did:

In my opinion, "bran" -  in any amount - will teach anyone a lesson.

Heh, heh.

To clarify, since the Bahamas follows the Parliamentary rules of the United Kingdom and the Prime Ministerial term of office cannot exceed five years, the government is gearing up for an election.

Yeah, it's that time.  They call it, "Silly Season" here.  Let the mud slinging begin.

Hubert Ingraham is the current Bahamian Prime Minister and leader of the FNM (Free National Movement) Party.   There is also the PLP (Progressive Liberal Party) which is the official opposition.

To further clarify, the "Bran" to which the headline refers is Branville McCartney, the leader of the the newly birthed (and, yes, the upcoming pun here is totally intended) DNA Party. (The 'pun' refers to the fact that most Bahamians are, in one way or another, related to each other.)

That so much can be read into this headline, I look forward to more.

;-)

It's No Wonder I Can't Write Comprehensively...

... when I read shit like this in our newspapers:

Evidently, there were four victims.  A couple aren't quite dead yet.

"Maria ... I Just Met a Cheese Named Maria"

Okay, so I don’t know if there is a cheese named “Maria” but I do know there is a storm named Maria which could be a potential threat to the Bahamas.   So far the forecast is leaning in our favour – she should be a gutter ball - but I can’t get that song out of my mind. 

Really.

Every time I visit the storm site, there she is and damn it if that song doesn’t pop into my head.

If you think about it, Maria is kind of a cheesy song anyway.

Speaking of cheese …

I’ve neglected my monthly Cheese Calendar reviews* and in order to get my mind off Maria - the storm, not to mention the song - I now update you with my late reviews of the July and August recipes for the calendar.

*(If you are new to my blog and have no idea what I'm talking about, click here to get a general understanding of the Cheese Calendar, or just click on the 'cheese calendar' label below.)

Kiwi Mascarpone  (July)

Ingredients:

• 6 kiwis (the fruit kind – not actual New Zealanders, unless your into that sort of thing)
• 1/3 cup orange juice
• ¼ cup mascarpone cheese
• 1 tsp honey
• ¼ tsp cinnamon

 Directions:

• Peel and slice the kiwis into rounds.  Sprinkle orange juice over fruit and set aside.
• In a small bowl, mix mascarpone, honey and cinnamon until well blended.
• Layer kiwis and mascarpone into ramekins 3 times, ending with kiwis.  Sprinkle tops with a pinch of cinnamon.

Oh, yum!  This would make a great dessert for any meal.  It’s not very heavy on the “cheese” taste but the mascarpone, with the honey and the cinnamon, compliments the kiwis very nicely.  It would also be an appropriate dessert for the following recipe.

Note:  If you are going to use the other Kiwis (real New Zealanders), just make they have been washed and are clean shaven, substitute the orange juice with a hot tub full of Orange Jello, whipped cream for the mascarpone and ... oh, never mind.

Goat Cheese Quesadillas  (August)

Ingredients:

• 2 tblsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
• ½ pound fresh asparagus, cut into 1 ½ inch pieces
• Two 10-inch flour tortillas (I used three 8-inch tortillas)
• 4 oz herbed goat cheese (or slightly more if you use the 8-inch wraps)
• ½ cup cooked ham, cubed (I used Black Forest ham, cut into quarter-inch cubes)

Directions:

• In a skillet, heat 1 tblsp of olive oil over medium-low heat.  Add the asparagus, stirring occasionally until tender and lightly browned.**  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Set aside.
• Spread one side of each torilla with ½ of the goat cheese.  Spread ½ the asparagus and ½ of the cooked ham cubes evenly on each tortilla.  Fold tortilla in half over contents.  Brush the outsides of the quesadillas with remaining oil.
• Over medium-high heat, cook the quesadillas about 2 to 3 minutes per side.  Cut in half and serve.

**Note:  I sometimes cannot get very fresh asparagus (as it was in this case), so I lowered the heat a bit, added a tablespoon of water and covered the skillet with a lid to steam the asparagus to prevent them from drying out.

Yum, again!  This is a simple, easy peasy recipe if you don’t want to do a lot of cooking, especially in the summertime.  The ingredients are simple (and I did adhere to the recipe), but one can always add other stuffings or seasonings to taste.  I also liked the bit of crunch that came from toasting the wraps in the skillet.

Well, that wraps up these recipes.  September's recipe is apple Camembert stuffed crepes.

Are They Sirius?

I don't know about you, but one would think that a "meteorologist" deals with things like, say, planets, stars and - god forbid - actual meteors.  Apparently not.   "Meteorologist" is the official job description of one who predicts or forecasts the weather.  Predilection is, as a science, iffy at best.  Hell, most people already pooh-pooh psychics, yet the "meteorologist" moniker given to - gasp! - weathermen is to be revered:   we are supposed to trust these people when it comes to the weather.

If you ask me, it's the name given to those idiots who go out and report on a hurricane in the bloody middle of it.  I'll have to say, though, that those meteorologists on the beaches of the eastern U.S. seaboard kept me quite entertained during Hurricane Irene.

Speaking of being entertained, I can't imagine that the job is otherwise very interesting.  Boring, actually.  So it doesn't surprise me that those guys at the hurricane centre might hope to have something upon which to report for six months of the year.  (One has to wonder what they do for the other six months.)  And, if it's a 'slow' year, how do they spend their time?

They probably sit around thinking of "headlines" like this:

Evidently, a bored meteorologist has been channeling Howard Cosell.

I'm waiting for the third round update.

;-)

Goodnight, Irene.

I wish.

As some of you may or may not know, I presently live in the "Hurricane Alley" of the Caribbean and the 5-10 split is extremely wide in my neck of the woods at this time of year so, yeah, it's technically a crap shoot.

Most bowlers aim just right or left the Number 1 pin for a strike.  Currently, our island is just left of that desired 'sweet spot' for Hurricane Irene.

There have been several tropical waves forming off of the east coast of Africa that are potential tropical storms since the onset of the hurricane season but, thankfully, most have been gutter balls.

I have found that if I talk about upcoming storms in my blog, they generally peter out or divert their respective routes to non life threatening areas.  Hence, this post (and crossing fingers, toes, eyes. etc).

Just to give you a perspective, as of about 5 p.m. EDT today:

And if that wasn't bad enough ...

My mom just called me the "Hippy Dippy Weatherman".  Really, she did, mostly because I've been obsessed in monitoring the hurricane updates all day.  This is how it is in our household.  It can be satirically comical at times yet we cannot control many things, let alone 'Mother Nature'.  I just hope we're still laughing come Friday.

I think we will be.  What else can one do?

I might be "off the grid" for the next few days (week?).

In the meantime, tonight's forecast:  dark.


;-)

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Oh Auntie Em!

'Tis the season.  Hurricane season, that is.  Whilst Tropical Storm Emily is making up her mind upon whom she will render her wrath (she's been rather indecisive for two days - hey, it a woman thing), we have been inundated with other problems that need to be tended to in order to make Emily's stay with us as comfortable as it can be.  Our comfort, that is.

On Monday, we discovered that the main waterline to our house has sprung yet another leak.  Fun.  Wow.  *starts humming the song to an advertisement for a theme park somewhere in western NY State*  (Okay, so you'd have to had grown up in Buffalo, Western New York or Toronto and watched Buffalo television feeds to understand that one.  Annoying sums it up quite well.)

At any rate ...

About two weeks ago, I finally decided to check our diesel generator because the impending doom of the hurricane season does not appear to be in our favour this year.  Well, "Vin" here turned over and merely farted.  Typical.  So we called the best diesel engine tech on the island to tune-up our generator - or at least find out if we needed any parts, etc. - so that we could buy supplies should they be needed. He (the tech) was scheduled - did I tell you that Bahamians don't know the definition of "schedule"? - to do a work-up on Vin early last week.  Guess what?  (Yes, it is a rhetorical question.)

Back to the water main:  Monday was a holiday here so we were "SOL"*** on getting any repairs done on that day.  Yesterday (Tuesday), we were able to secure a contractor with a backhoe to dig a new trench which was scheduled for today.  Our reasoning for the new trench being that the existing pipe would continue to fail - it would be easier to replace the whole line rather than try to fix the current leak.  The contractor was to arrive sometime this morning to start digging.  Yeah.  Right.  Have you read the subtitle of this blog?  (Yes, also a rhetorical question.)

Enter the plumber:  We contacted the best known plumber on the island (we milk that "who you know" thing quite well, it's just the "small world" thing that can bite you in the ass sometimes) who couldn't arrive last night but did, in fact, get here early this morning.  Wonders never cease.   "Joe", the plumber (and I only call him that because Palin hasn't fallen on her sword in a few weeks - that, and I have no other lame-ass joke to insert here), wanted to do the entire job in one day so that we would not be without water.

Frankly, "Joe" is an angel.  He was absolutely prepared to do the entire job in one day.

Water supplies are ordered and delivered (about 10 a.m.).  Generator's tech is delayed but, "will reach within the hour" (that was about 10 a.m.).  Contractor for the new trench: "We have to repair a tire on the flatbed transport" (that was about 12 p.m.).  It's been overcast all day.  The forecast is indicating isolated thunderstorms which, in turn, brings isolated torrential rains.  We get a mere drizzle in our area, elsewhere it is raining buckets (normal for here but no one wants to venture out in it.  God forbid it should ever snow).

The generator tech finally arrives at about 1:30 p.m.  "Vin's" dipstick is given a clean bill of health and - other than the fuel supply - he is all good to go.

Now, the backhoe contractor and Joe the plumber were to have spoken with each other to co-ordinate the digging of the trench with the installation of the new water line in order that it happened all at once.  Apparently they know one another (considering the size of this rock, this does not surprise me).  And I have to hang around the house all day to control the dogs.  However, neither showed up, mostly due to the contractor.  The third or fourth call (I lost count) to the contractor said they couldn't come out because the torrential rains had flooded their yard so bad that they couldn't get the vehicle(s) out.  When asked about the 'flat tire' problem - the original excuse for the delay - the response was, "What flat tire?".

So, basically, I've been sitting on my ass all day waiting for people to "reach".

Tonight's forecast:  dark, with isolated torrential rains.

Thursday's forecast:  lighter, with isolated torrential rains.

Friday's forecast ... take a guess.

Emily arrives at 2 a.m. Saturday morning.

Fun.  Wow.



***SOL = shit outta luck

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