It's No Wonder I Can't Write Comprehensively...

... when I read shit like this in our newspapers:

Evidently, there were four victims.  A couple aren't quite dead yet.

"Maria ... I Just Met a Cheese Named Maria"

Okay, so I don’t know if there is a cheese named “Maria” but I do know there is a storm named Maria which could be a potential threat to the Bahamas.   So far the forecast is leaning in our favour – she should be a gutter ball - but I can’t get that song out of my mind. 

Really.

Every time I visit the storm site, there she is and damn it if that song doesn’t pop into my head.

If you think about it, Maria is kind of a cheesy song anyway.

Speaking of cheese …

I’ve neglected my monthly Cheese Calendar reviews* and in order to get my mind off Maria - the storm, not to mention the song - I now update you with my late reviews of the July and August recipes for the calendar.

*(If you are new to my blog and have no idea what I'm talking about, click here to get a general understanding of the Cheese Calendar, or just click on the 'cheese calendar' label below.)

Kiwi Mascarpone  (July)

Ingredients:

• 6 kiwis (the fruit kind – not actual New Zealanders, unless your into that sort of thing)
• 1/3 cup orange juice
• ¼ cup mascarpone cheese
• 1 tsp honey
• ¼ tsp cinnamon

 Directions:

• Peel and slice the kiwis into rounds.  Sprinkle orange juice over fruit and set aside.
• In a small bowl, mix mascarpone, honey and cinnamon until well blended.
• Layer kiwis and mascarpone into ramekins 3 times, ending with kiwis.  Sprinkle tops with a pinch of cinnamon.

Oh, yum!  This would make a great dessert for any meal.  It’s not very heavy on the “cheese” taste but the mascarpone, with the honey and the cinnamon, compliments the kiwis very nicely.  It would also be an appropriate dessert for the following recipe.

Note:  If you are going to use the other Kiwis (real New Zealanders), just make they have been washed and are clean shaven, substitute the orange juice with a hot tub full of Orange Jello, whipped cream for the mascarpone and ... oh, never mind.

Goat Cheese Quesadillas  (August)

Ingredients:

• 2 tblsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
• ½ pound fresh asparagus, cut into 1 ½ inch pieces
• Two 10-inch flour tortillas (I used three 8-inch tortillas)
• 4 oz herbed goat cheese (or slightly more if you use the 8-inch wraps)
• ½ cup cooked ham, cubed (I used Black Forest ham, cut into quarter-inch cubes)

Directions:

• In a skillet, heat 1 tblsp of olive oil over medium-low heat.  Add the asparagus, stirring occasionally until tender and lightly browned.**  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Set aside.
• Spread one side of each torilla with ½ of the goat cheese.  Spread ½ the asparagus and ½ of the cooked ham cubes evenly on each tortilla.  Fold tortilla in half over contents.  Brush the outsides of the quesadillas with remaining oil.
• Over medium-high heat, cook the quesadillas about 2 to 3 minutes per side.  Cut in half and serve.

**Note:  I sometimes cannot get very fresh asparagus (as it was in this case), so I lowered the heat a bit, added a tablespoon of water and covered the skillet with a lid to steam the asparagus to prevent them from drying out.

Yum, again!  This is a simple, easy peasy recipe if you don’t want to do a lot of cooking, especially in the summertime.  The ingredients are simple (and I did adhere to the recipe), but one can always add other stuffings or seasonings to taste.  I also liked the bit of crunch that came from toasting the wraps in the skillet.

Well, that wraps up these recipes.  September's recipe is apple Camembert stuffed crepes.

Are They Sirius?

I don't know about you, but one would think that a "meteorologist" deals with things like, say, planets, stars and - god forbid - actual meteors.  Apparently not.   "Meteorologist" is the official job description of one who predicts or forecasts the weather.  Predilection is, as a science, iffy at best.  Hell, most people already pooh-pooh psychics, yet the "meteorologist" moniker given to - gasp! - weathermen is to be revered:   we are supposed to trust these people when it comes to the weather.

If you ask me, it's the name given to those idiots who go out and report on a hurricane in the bloody middle of it.  I'll have to say, though, that those meteorologists on the beaches of the eastern U.S. seaboard kept me quite entertained during Hurricane Irene.

Speaking of being entertained, I can't imagine that the job is otherwise very interesting.  Boring, actually.  So it doesn't surprise me that those guys at the hurricane centre might hope to have something upon which to report for six months of the year.  (One has to wonder what they do for the other six months.)  And, if it's a 'slow' year, how do they spend their time?

They probably sit around thinking of "headlines" like this:

Evidently, a bored meteorologist has been channeling Howard Cosell.

I'm waiting for the third round update.

;-)

Goodnight, Irene.

I wish.

As some of you may or may not know, I presently live in the "Hurricane Alley" of the Caribbean and the 5-10 split is extremely wide in my neck of the woods at this time of year so, yeah, it's technically a crap shoot.

Most bowlers aim just right or left the Number 1 pin for a strike.  Currently, our island is just left of that desired 'sweet spot' for Hurricane Irene.

There have been several tropical waves forming off of the east coast of Africa that are potential tropical storms since the onset of the hurricane season but, thankfully, most have been gutter balls.

I have found that if I talk about upcoming storms in my blog, they generally peter out or divert their respective routes to non life threatening areas.  Hence, this post (and crossing fingers, toes, eyes. etc).

Just to give you a perspective, as of about 5 p.m. EDT today:

And if that wasn't bad enough ...

My mom just called me the "Hippy Dippy Weatherman".  Really, she did, mostly because I've been obsessed in monitoring the hurricane updates all day.  This is how it is in our household.  It can be satirically comical at times yet we cannot control many things, let alone 'Mother Nature'.  I just hope we're still laughing come Friday.

I think we will be.  What else can one do?

I might be "off the grid" for the next few days (week?).

In the meantime, tonight's forecast:  dark.


;-)

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Oh Auntie Em!

'Tis the season.  Hurricane season, that is.  Whilst Tropical Storm Emily is making up her mind upon whom she will render her wrath (she's been rather indecisive for two days - hey, it a woman thing), we have been inundated with other problems that need to be tended to in order to make Emily's stay with us as comfortable as it can be.  Our comfort, that is.

On Monday, we discovered that the main waterline to our house has sprung yet another leak.  Fun.  Wow.  *starts humming the song to an advertisement for a theme park somewhere in western NY State*  (Okay, so you'd have to had grown up in Buffalo, Western New York or Toronto and watched Buffalo television feeds to understand that one.  Annoying sums it up quite well.)

At any rate ...

About two weeks ago, I finally decided to check our diesel generator because the impending doom of the hurricane season does not appear to be in our favour this year.  Well, "Vin" here turned over and merely farted.  Typical.  So we called the best diesel engine tech on the island to tune-up our generator - or at least find out if we needed any parts, etc. - so that we could buy supplies should they be needed. He (the tech) was scheduled - did I tell you that Bahamians don't know the definition of "schedule"? - to do a work-up on Vin early last week.  Guess what?  (Yes, it is a rhetorical question.)

Back to the water main:  Monday was a holiday here so we were "SOL"*** on getting any repairs done on that day.  Yesterday (Tuesday), we were able to secure a contractor with a backhoe to dig a new trench which was scheduled for today.  Our reasoning for the new trench being that the existing pipe would continue to fail - it would be easier to replace the whole line rather than try to fix the current leak.  The contractor was to arrive sometime this morning to start digging.  Yeah.  Right.  Have you read the subtitle of this blog?  (Yes, also a rhetorical question.)

Enter the plumber:  We contacted the best known plumber on the island (we milk that "who you know" thing quite well, it's just the "small world" thing that can bite you in the ass sometimes) who couldn't arrive last night but did, in fact, get here early this morning.  Wonders never cease.   "Joe", the plumber (and I only call him that because Palin hasn't fallen on her sword in a few weeks - that, and I have no other lame-ass joke to insert here), wanted to do the entire job in one day so that we would not be without water.

Frankly, "Joe" is an angel.  He was absolutely prepared to do the entire job in one day.

Water supplies are ordered and delivered (about 10 a.m.).  Generator's tech is delayed but, "will reach within the hour" (that was about 10 a.m.).  Contractor for the new trench: "We have to repair a tire on the flatbed transport" (that was about 12 p.m.).  It's been overcast all day.  The forecast is indicating isolated thunderstorms which, in turn, brings isolated torrential rains.  We get a mere drizzle in our area, elsewhere it is raining buckets (normal for here but no one wants to venture out in it.  God forbid it should ever snow).

The generator tech finally arrives at about 1:30 p.m.  "Vin's" dipstick is given a clean bill of health and - other than the fuel supply - he is all good to go.

Now, the backhoe contractor and Joe the plumber were to have spoken with each other to co-ordinate the digging of the trench with the installation of the new water line in order that it happened all at once.  Apparently they know one another (considering the size of this rock, this does not surprise me).  And I have to hang around the house all day to control the dogs.  However, neither showed up, mostly due to the contractor.  The third or fourth call (I lost count) to the contractor said they couldn't come out because the torrential rains had flooded their yard so bad that they couldn't get the vehicle(s) out.  When asked about the 'flat tire' problem - the original excuse for the delay - the response was, "What flat tire?".

So, basically, I've been sitting on my ass all day waiting for people to "reach".

Tonight's forecast:  dark, with isolated torrential rains.

Thursday's forecast:  lighter, with isolated torrential rains.

Friday's forecast ... take a guess.

Emily arrives at 2 a.m. Saturday morning.

Fun.  Wow.



***SOL = shit outta luck

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Synchronicity?

The following comics that are normally published side by side, appeared in a recent issue of our local newspaper:








Is it just me or does anyone else see the irony here?  Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought it apropos that these two panels happened to appear on the same day.

Well, I thought it was funny.

;-)

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It's All Greek To Me

"GOOD MORNING NORTH AMERICA!!!!"

(be thankful this isn't an audioblog)

After this long weekend, everything is probably "all Greek" to many of those on both sides of the border strugging with their hangovers.

Heh, heh.

Ah, yes, this is my usually late monthly instalment of the We Work For Cheese cheese calendar recipe review.   June's recipe was Greek Salad which I had, in fact, neglected to make but as recipes go, salad is as salad does.  It ain't rocket science and it's all about the dressing anyway.

Since it's likely to get hotter here throughout the summer, I will probably make this salad for a main course.  Although our appetites diminish as the mercury rises, the need to feed does not so this would make a nice light dinner with some bread and maybe some gestapo gazpacho and a fine Chianti.

Greek Salad

The Dressing:
1 tblsp olive oil
1 tblsp red wine vinegar
1 tblsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1 clove garlic (although the recipe wasn't wasn't specific, I'm assuming it is to be crushed or minced)
1/2 tsp honey
pepper to taste

The Vegetation:
Romaine lettuce
1 tomato
1 small cucumber
1/2 green pepper


The Garnish:
1/2 cup feta cheese, crumbled
fresh dill, chopped
12 black olives (pitted if you prefer and I do prefer pitted) - chopped, or not.


Destructions:

• Wash and dry hands - preferably with soap.
• Wash and dry lettuce - preferably without soap.
• Chop The Vegetation, place in a large bowl and toss to combine.
• In a small jar, combine all of the ingredients listed for The Dressing and shake well (it's less messy if you affix a lid to the jar or container prior to shaking).  I usually set my dressing aside for a bit to mind meld.
• Pour The Dressing over The Vegetation and toss again for even dressing distribution.  Hey, toss your hair while your add it, just make sure it stays out of The Vegetation.
• Sprinkle The Garnish atop each serving.
• Eat.

Note:  Windex is NOT an ingredient.

Yeah, I took a little liberty with this recipe but not with the ingredients.  Double-up The Dressing in the event you have to double-up on The Vegetation.  And since this is just a salad, anything goes.  I prefer Caesar salad but, hey, it's all Greek to me.

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