"Oh, nooooo, Mr. Bill!!"
So my face is going to have that expression for the entire weekend, if not longer. Why, you ask? The circles above represent tropical waves in the Atlantic - the prepubescence of tropical storms, if you will - that have the potential of becoming full-blown (pun intended) hurricanes. And they come in colours (sorry folks, no flavours). Red is for a high potential storm. Orange is for a medium threat. And yellow (not shown, and not for banana flavour) is for those piddly little-ass farts squeaking off the west coast of Africa that the National Hurricane Centre unilaterally decides warrants a name, merely because the NHC doesn`t want to get blamed - or sued - should said fart amass into major diarrhea when one's butt is already firmly planted on the john and there is no ass wipe in sight. That, and they can`t - or won`t - justify the expenditure of a twenty or more hour flight to confirm that said fart will just harmlessly spiral into oblivion towards the North Atlantic, meanwhile the mere naming of a storm sends thousands, if not millions, of people into a long and drawn out period of anxiety.
Sorry for that run-on rant.
To give you a bit of my perspective:
Fortunately, the 'code red' storm (once known as Hurricane Shary, now a tropical storm) is traipsing her sorry butt towards the north Atlantic. The smaller 'code orange' system has since petered out (go figure), but the larger orange wave - now known as Hurricane Tomas - is headed toward the abyss which I have affectionately named the "Toilet Bowl". The last couple of storms that headed in Tomas' direction basically stalled then swirled around for a few days between the Yucatan Peninsula and Cuba before flushing away. So, you see, hurricanes are not only potentially dangerous, but they can also be geographically educational!
Unfortunately, however, hurricanes - much like the current mindsets of the upcoming voting American public and/or their candidates - don't really know in which direction they will blow:
To paraphrase Bugs Bunny: "Where the fuck is Albuquerque?"
Although I will not be dressing up as a zombie this Halloween, I will have the satisfaction of knowing that one of the storms on the horizon is near its ugly end.
Happy Halloween everybody!