Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Kids Can Do The Darndest Things

The following is a true story (really, I can't make this shit up):

My mother and my maternal aunt and uncle all had kids, and I am one of seven grandchildren.  Like all grandparents, ours had the unfortunate job inevitable joy of looking after us at one time or another, not all at the same time of course, while our respective parents were at work.

My uncle was quite an athlete when he was younger and would watch and involve his sons in many sports as they grew up. He has three boys, the eldest, Kevin (not his real name) being about sixteen years younger than me.  All of his kids would follow in their father’s footsteps by joining hockey and baseball teams at very young ages.  They all played extremely well, I might add.

Before his brothers were born, my grandmother would look after Kevin for a few days a week.  Kevin was about two years old during this time.  When Granny had to run errands, Kevin would be loaded into the obligatory car seat and taken along for the ride.  These trips were usually uneventful.

Usually.

Like most toddlers do when you are not watching them, Kevin would get into mischief.  So, after returning home one day from shopping, Granny left Kevin in the back seat so she could keep an eye on him while unloading the groceries that were, in those days, still packed in brown paper bags. This would take a few trips back and forth from the car. On her final trip, she was horrified to discover the entire interior of the car had been egged:  it was all over the back seat, the front seat and Kevin was covered in it.  The last and final grocery bag had contained a carton of eggs which had been placed right on top and which was located right beside Kevin in the backseat.

Apparently, Kevin got bored while waiting to be liberated from the car.

Now I'm not sure exactly what was said, but from what I understand, it went something like this:

Granny, not normally known to use expletives, yelled at him, “What in the HELL did you do?”, to which Kevin excitedly cheered, "Baseball!!"




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 Theme Thursday is having a "Ball" - check out the others!

34 comments:

  1. OMG! That is the cutest, funniest story ever! When my son was three, he was with me at Sears and Robuck in the hardware department. While I was making my purchase, he wandered over into plumbing. I started after him and I was horrified to see that he had climbed up on a pedestal where they had a toilet display. Yeah, he was sitting on the toilet doing his business while people roared with laughter all around him.

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  2. Heh heh heh. That is funny.

    Kids. Think of all the money you'd save if they weren't destroying EVERYTHING!

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  3. LOL A lovely story well told. :)

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  4. haha. love it! sounds like something one of my boys would have done if i left them too close tot he groceries...nice. happy tt!

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  5. I'd probably like this story a whole lot better if I didn't have a hockey-playing super-athletic super-hyper son who has done the same sort of thing his entire life, which could end anytime between now and his 16th birthday, by the way. It's the sort of story that's very funny to read unless you've lived it. But I'm still smiling, 00odozo, I'm still smiling.

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  6. YIKES! I can't imagine what that car smelled like for awhile.

    That was a great story.

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  7. Now, see, to me, this story is really about Granny. Talk about restraint! He egged her car and she only said "hell"! She is my hero :-)

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  8. Come on...HONESTLY? I woulda done it too.

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  9. Wasn't the kid's fault -- he needed a good catcher. (Great story.)

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  10. Linda: Hahahahah! Too funny! At least the spectators were empathetic enough to join in on the fun! I'm guessing you had to buy some toilet paper, too!

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  11. Quirks: Thanks! I didn't have any kids, but my childen now consist of pets - lots of them, and they can be just as destructive.

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  12. RA & brian: Thanks, and Happy TT to you.

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  13. BonyMike: Heh heh. Give it time - you'll be laughing at your son's antics a few years down the road, no doubt! *smile*

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  14. Reffie: I imagine the car smelled a little fowl for awhile. EEK!
    ;-)

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  15. Nicky: Ha! Funny you should say that - my sister was walking toward her house that day and suddenly saw the backseat sailing through the air onto the lawn. Granny, not amused and out of earshot of Kevin, was swearin' up a storm when my sister arrived! But, thanks - I'll tell her that!

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  16. Jill: It's true, really! Thanks for dropping in.

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  17. Frank: Catcher, yes - batter, no. Thanks.
    ;-)

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  18. Kris: And Granny was exceptionally mad! Thanks for dropping by.

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  19. Boys will be boys! With all that practice, I hope he went on to be a star in the Big Leagues!

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  20. Hi Gayle! Welcome to Blogger! Kevin was better in hockey, eventually, but didn't join the league. His youngest brother, however, was offered a spot on an NHL farm team. He declined as he wanted to finish school - that, and he also wanted to keep all of his teeth!

    Thanks for dropping in!

    ;-)

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  21. That was priceless. Is he playing in the majors now? Thanks for the laugh.

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  22. toddlers are smart and sensitive,
    they can be trained to be a star, best wishes.
    cool ball entry for tt.

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  23. hey dufus! I didn't get a notification for your comment? Blogger blip, I guess.

    No, he started to play hockey throughout high school and university, as did his brothers. More of a hockey family. (And I do have a story about that too!!)

    Your welcome for the giggle. ;-)

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  24. Great story. I love the true stuff. Hey, secret agent, thanks for voting for JM. I'm so thrilled you took the time.

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  25. Cheryl: Thanks - and I'll keep voting!

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  26. Oh the little bugger! Glad I didn't have to clean that mess up can you imagine?

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  27. Baino: A little bugger, indeed! And it was hot that day! Anyone for scrambled eggs??
    ;-)

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  28. Hilarious! I can't imagine the mess. We grandparents have a lot more patience with our grandchildren than we did with our own children. I wonder why it's that way.

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  29. Leeuna: Well, because we can send them back to their own parents, of course!

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  30. Give a boy an egg, or in this case, let a boy find a dozen eggs, and oh the fun that can be had1

    Just realized you had a blog! (I'm a little slow).

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  31. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  32. Deb: Thanks for the drive-by! No worries about the blog thingy - I'm rather new here, anyway.

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