Wednesday, June 30, 2010

You Haven't Left Yet??

I was totally stumped for a post for this Theme Thursday when, all of a sudden, I heard a familiar cry from across the canal.  Well, maybe more like a screech, or the sound a cat makes when you step on its tail.  You see, there is a very loud and noisy parrot that lives across the waterway.  I concede that this post isn't particularly imaginative on this week's theme, or particularly humourous for that matter, but it sort of involves the colour of blue.

At any rate, the neighbouring parrot reminded me of a day years ago when I lived out in the country.

Not far away lived some friends who trained and bred dogs and had a small kennel on their property.  One summer, they were invited to an all-day wedding affair that was quite a distance away.  Since they probably wouldn't get home until later that evening, I volunteered to look in on the dogs.

Their kennel consisted of some six or seven mastiffs - one dog was always left inside the house as a guard.  They also had a blue and gold macaw who's name was Boomer.  Boomer was very loud when he squawked and screeched and could be very annoying when he was hungry or wanting attention.  Cheryl and David (not their real names) got Boomer a few years earlier.  Macaws are very intelligent birds and can be taught to speak.  Boomer, on rare occasions, would say a word or two, but usually when no visitors were around.

I should mention here that this kennel was the ultimate alarm system:  anyone coming up the driveway would be announced by continuous barking until David came out and hollered at them to be quiet.

So, on this hot summer day, I arrived at around 3 p.m.  All the windows in the house were open to vent the heat.  The dogs, as expected, were barking like mad and it was extremely loud.  I had to shout as best as I could to be recognized as a friend.  They were having none of it.   When I started towards the kennel so they could see me,  I heard David's voice coming from the house, yelling his usual command at the canines.

David and Cheryl were supposed to leave early this morning, I thought to myself.   "David, are you still here?   No response.  "Hello?  Did you forget something?", I called as I approached the house; the dogs still barking wildly.  Just before I reached the door, David's voice again bellowed in a more succinct manner, "Shut - the - fuck - up!"  It got eerily quieter.  I'd swear on a stack of bibles that it was David's voice that I had heard, but after I searched the house and was satisfied that no one was there, it finally dawned on me that the voice could only have originated from one source:  Boomer.  From that day on, I never heard Boomer speak a single word other than gobbledigook.  I'm sure he was laughing at me.



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This is a Theme Thursday post  - check out the others!


28 comments:

  1. haha. gotta love a smart mouth bird...happy tt!

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  2. My favorite joke in the whole world revolves around a one-eyed parrot with a foul mouth. But I can't repeat it here because it's too long, and it's hard to tell in words. It's more of a visual joke. This a real-life version of it, though.

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  3. Reffie & brian: The strangest part is that parrots don't necessarily mimic voices that well.

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  4. Hey, BonyMike: I suspect there is a bar and a peg-legged pirate involved as well?? And since when are you lacking for words?
    ;-)

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  5. This is hysterical. I love Mastiff's but would hesitate to walk into one's house unless they really loved me! I had a pair of cockatiels when my son was born and they mimicked his cry exactly. Great, huh?

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  6. That is one very clever bird.

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  7. What a fabulous story and I love how you made the blue connection with Boomer. Awesome. My Theme Thursday is HERE .

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  8. love the blue bird,
    what cute tt post.

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  9. Hey Linda: Yep - mastiffs, particularly this breed, are very droooooly, but they love women! Besides, I knew all of them well and vice versa. Ha ha - your baby's cry by a bird - probably drove you nuts!

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  10. Smart parrot! Funny post. Aaark!

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  11. EG: Thanks for dropping in! I think he was otherwise very shy around visitors/strangers, but he was a very curious bird. By the way, I know where "E.G." is - I hope it's still as rural and beautiful as I remember. (I used to live in T.O.)
    ;-)

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  12. Monkey Man: Thanks! I was feeling a little blue myself lately until I heard the parrot. I'll be dropping by your place soon!

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  13. Hi Jimgle: I didn't have any pics of Boomer so I got those from the web. Parrots are very beautiful. Thanks!

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  14. Hey dufus: More like a smartass parrot - it kinda freaked me out at the time - my first thought was that I might have caught my friends in a compromising position, which would have been totally embarrassing. Aaack!

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  15. I'm sure he was laughing at you. We have a friend with an African grey who talks a blue streak (in keeping with the theme, don't you know). If our friend had not been sitting right in front of us, we would have sworn he was in the next room, having a long and apparently very funny telephone conversation.

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  16. Patti: "...blue streak..." ha ha! I had a friend with an African Grey - very particular birds, and they can also be very chatty. There is one here too, and he is mimical but only when in the other room. It would be fun to have your parrot answer all telemarketers' calls!

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  17. Yes, the parrot, the peg-legged pirate and the bar! I'm excited that you know it! Do you like it? Did you laugh the first time you heard it? I forget that you live on an island and have probably heard every parrot-pirate joke ever written.

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  18. I'm too freaked out by birds to ever even consider owning a parrot, but it definitely would be fun to confuse visitors like that. Or maybe teach it to speak in riddles. That would be fun.

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  19. BonyMike: Heh heh. You're right - it is somewhat of a visual joke. Arrrg!

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  20. Ziva: I'd like to own a parrot except they can be very loud. Heh heh - I like the riddle idea!

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  21. I kind of makes sense to me that a parrot would swear like a sailor/pirate. aaarrr!

    I once went camping with a mastiff. Well, the mastiff was with the family next to our tent. That thing was super friendly and drooled all over us whenever it had a chance.

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  22. OOdozo-Two macaws live with us--a scarlet named Sophia (although we now think she may be a he) and Sadie, a blue and gold. Loud, too loud. They make many people nervous. Sophia has a fairly large vocabulary. Sadie's only been with us a year(people find out you have one and they want to give you more...for god's sake, one was enough!). Her vocabulary grows from mimicking Sophia.

    Happy Fourth to you, too! (Thanks for stopping by the bozone.) Brenda

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  23. CheesyMike: Heh heh - I think Boomer only liked foul words, and David would have made a good pirate for Halloween.

    Oh, the drool, the drool! We had Neapolitans as well as a Dogue du Bordeaux (a "Hootch" mastiff). The Neos dooled waaaay more than the Bordeaux - I spent days cleaning it off walls and the ceiling. And, if they are friendly, they will try to sit in your lap at times - just keep a towel handy!
    ;-)

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  24. Hi brenda: Ha - you do realize that the only reason people want to give you another parrot is because they 'made a mistake'! So Sophia might be a Saul? Reminds me of a joke about how to sex a bird, "... you blow up their ...", or something like that. At least the birds have each other to converse with!

    My July 'happy' was on the first, but thank you just the same!

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  25. I would love to have that parrot right about now. I'm too chicken to scream at the family myself, but the bird just might shut everybody up for a few minutes.

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  26. Leeuna: There's an idea! With the appropriate words, no less! Heh heh.

    Have a Happy Fourth!

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  27. My close encounter with the mastiff was about 20 years ago, but on some days, if the wind is blowing just right, I swear I can still smell that pooch.

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