Feet are ugly - well my feet are. I seem to have inherited all of the mismatched traits of my family: large feet, short legs, long torso, bad hair, failing eyesight, etc., but I have no idea where my boobs came from since all of the women in my family that I've met are generously endowed. I suspect mine come from a throwback gene from some Neanderthal relative. At least I don't need an under wire bra, or a bra at all for that matter. I be goin' "commando" (the feminine version).
Oh, and I've got BROAD shoulders. Now, if any women out there remembers the 80's, you probably recall that there were shoulder pads in practically EVERY blouse, shirt (yep, even t-shirts), jackets and the like. I'd look like a CFL player (that's NFL to you Americans) in full gear. Not a very attractive look. So, out the pads went. Thanks to my Nanny (grandmother) and my dad, both of whom are/were pack rats, I saved them for "something" useful. It turned out that they came in very handy a few years later when I attended a Halloween Stag & Doe party dressed up as Elvira. The pads were extremely useful in enhancing and pushing up what little cleavage I had (and, boy, did some of the women get pissed at their significant others for eyeballing me!). Heh heh.
Not that I am complaining about my body. I've grown accustomed to it (like I have a choice?), but the only thing I would have rather not inherited is the "European Toe". Girls don't necessarily look at their feet in a fashion sense until they need to buy nice shoes. It was about the time that I actually had to wear a dress that I needed not only the dress, but the shoes to go with it. A stubborn tomboy was I.
Having settled on a dress, we went for shoes. Since I expected to wear these shoes not more than once, maybe twice, a year, I opted to try the "open toe" style with a moderate heel. When I looked down at my feet, my toes all painfully squished together, the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "Holy shit! What's wrong with my toes??", or something to that effect. My mom explained that, because of our European heritage, it was known to be a "European Toe".
The toe right next to my big toe (on both feet) was longer than any of the three that were visible, looking like the appendage I wasn't supposed to be born with. Jeez, thanks mom.
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That's a European trait? That explains a lot. Up until now I've always just referred to my toe as "Frankenstein".
ReplyDeleteZiva: Do you have battery terminals attached to it?? And I hope it doesn't sing, "Puttin' on the Ritz"! Heh heh. Well, I was told it was "European", not that it's supposed to be. I was just shocked when they looked like, um... well, you know. Kinda smiley-like too, from my perspective.
ReplyDelete;-)
I'd like to stick around but it's feeding time at my zoo and my 'puter us sundowning. Have a great day(?) or night, or whatever time it is there.
Geez, 00dozo, what CFL team did you play for?
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of it being described as European before! I'm European, and I have this situation too, so maybe it's true!
ReplyDeleteYour feet have the European Toe? Never had heard that one. I have what I call peasant feet - sturdy, wide, short toes, and high arch-
ReplyDeleteperfect for stomping grapes.
OH NO! I was told from childhood forward that my really long second toe meant I had high intelligence. I've passed that story onto all of my children ~ who also have the long second toe.
ReplyDeleteNice Magpie!!!!
Oh, the "gifts" our parents bestow on us. I got all the ones my brother should have gotten. Oh, wait, he got them too, but they look good on him.
ReplyDeleteLaughing. Perfection's hard to find. I always heard that long toe indicated strength.
ReplyDeletedufus: Why the Argos, of course!
ReplyDeleteMenina: I think my mom just made up that name so I wouldn't feel so bad, but my maternal side is of European descent. We all have the "toe".
ReplyDeleteKath: You make wine?? Our Italian neighbours made their wine too and it was rather good. But I don't think I would like stomping on grapes - eeek!
ReplyDeleteHelen: Thanks! You may be right too about the intelligence thing - I also heard that.
ReplyDeletePattiKen: Heh heh. From your picture, you look fine to me!
ReplyDeleteTumblewords: You may also be right! I'll have to do a little more research on this toe thing.
ReplyDeleteInteresting tour around your body!
ReplyDeleteShirley: All of it true, except the part where I went shopping with my mom - I asked her about the toe after trying on those shoes! Thanks for dropping in.
ReplyDeleteSmall breasts and European toes :). Loved it. All of women have known a tour of our own like this over our imperfections, huh?
ReplyDeleteShe Writes: Yeah, I'm kinda the "runt of the litter", so to speak. Ah, no worries though - between you and me, I don't like big breasts - I can get away with the sports thingies - much cooler.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment and thanks for dropping in!
European toe? Sounds kind of glam to me. Plus, small breasts are so elegant! Now, come on, quit with the negatives. My grandson, Cyrs, now 17, still calls the birthmark on his shoulder his 'angel kiss'.
ReplyDeleteLinda: My mother just informed me she has a "Mongolian Dot": a birthmark that appears right at the base of her spine in the crack of her ass! Total news to me. Hahahahaha. I don't really complain of my misfortunate physical attributes as I sometimes find them as advantages (my big mouth not being one of them!).
ReplyDeleteAn "angel's kiss" - yeah, he's now 17? I'd be watchin' that kid closely! Heh heh.
;-)
I did, evidentally, misrepresent the "appendage" I was referring to in my post.
Oh, my!
I had to smile. Both my second and third toes are longer than my big toe, but I like them. They are very useful for picking stuff up off the floor. Oh, and I got a lot of monkey jokes when I was at school. Cherish your feet!
ReplyDeleteSueJ: Funny, I do the same thing sometimes! Thanks for dropping by!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter disparages her "freakishly long toes" all the time! I'm sending her here to read your story. LOL
ReplyDeleteI am with Helen. My mom always told us that the Euro toe was a sign of superior intelligence--Well, I am sure if I had that intelligence after all, I would have known better :)
ReplyDeleteBrenda: Like me and SueJ above, your daughter might find her toes useful in picking things up off the floor without bending over! She might, however, want to stay away from the open-toe type shoe (like the one in the picture).
ReplyDeleteLisa: Ha! All women have superior intelligence, regardless of the "toe". We are also all very strong.
;-)
Thanks to both of you for dropping in.
Hey, I've got those toes! I've never heard them called European toes. I rather like that. Someone once told me that it was a sign of intelligence.
ReplyDeletewillow: You are very itelligent, toe or not! Well, I'll just think of it as "European" as an excuse for being deformed(?) But there is no way I can wear those open-toed shoes and I'm glad I'm not alone in this toe thingy. ;-)
ReplyDeleteWe must be related..also used the shoulder pads for push-ups! And nothing weirder on earth than my toes!! Keep being funny..
ReplyDeleteLyn: Haha! I wish I had a picture of me in my Elvira costume - huge bazooms - I think I used every shoulder pad I ever saved! Thanks, and I'll try.
ReplyDeleteLMBO! This is hilarious. Euro toe! Will that take the place of toe jam?
ReplyDeleteAlas, I don't have a Euro toe, and I definitely lack the intelligence cells, so there might be something to that.
Quirkyloon: I don't know why some think it's intelligent. You'd think that the damn toe would know enough not to walk into the furniture.
ReplyDelete;-)
Sorry pussy cat and other Europeans, but I was told a long big toe showed that I was further along the evolutionary pathway (away from monkey feet). And in passing, most of the females in my family are so 'well endowed' the buy bras from Rent-a-tent. Thank goodness mine are quite tiny, even for a bloke!
ReplyDeletenovel names,
ReplyDeletefresh ideas...
Thank you for bringing fresh blood into the community.
Happy Tuesday!
Stafford: Heh heh. Thanks for dropping in. Ah, yet another explanation for the "toe"! (My gosh, what have I started?? ;-) Booby-Tents?? I thank (whatever) God that I have 'little-ones' too!
ReplyDeleteHey Jingle: Thanks - I still be trying to figure you out! (happy Tuesday to you too!)
ReplyDelete;-)